Person A: Have you heard about Shilajit? It increases your testosterone, your lifts will go up by 20%, and it’s legal because it falls under the category of a health supplement! I’ve been taking it with my Ashwagandha and I’ve never felt better! This natural fitness trainer I follow on Instagram has been taking it for ages and he’s got my dream body! I’ve bought a huge supply, just in case they make it illegal to sell it in the future.
Person B: Why don’t you just … take steroids?
Person A: Because this is natural, and I’d never take that illegal chemical stuff?! I’m all natural. In addition to those two, my pre-workout now includes caffeine, citrulline malate, L-citrulline, beta-alanine, creatine monohydrate, betaine anhydrous, taurine, L-tyrosine, alpha-GPC, L-theanine, beetroot extract, sodium bicarbonate, electrolytes, glycerol, agmatine sulfate, nitrosigine, theobromine, L-norvaline, BCAAs, L-carnitine. And then to top it all off, after my workout, I never miss my all natural 0-sugar cookies and cream protein shake.
Person B: What’s the difference? You want to achieve some goal by cheating, using some mystery unproven pseudo-solution that hedges on a legal loophole/grey-area cheat-code, but not just use the real solution, because … why? Would you do it if it were legal?
The same goes for, say, “weight-loss supplements that are advertised on TV” versus just … taking GLP-1.
Magnesium, melatonin, glycine, valerian, CBD, special teas, expensive mattresses, red lights, sleep trackers…
Prescription sleep medication? Absolutely not. I want to sleep naturally.
Person A: Look, I discovered a totally new exploit in software X!
Person B: Cool, but did you use AI?
Person A: Well yeah, it was really helpful in my discovery.
Person B: So you didn’t discover it?
Person A: I ran a marathon wearing shoes, too.
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
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| It’s illegal to cross a double line. |
Person A: I drink six espressos a day, otherwise I can’t focus.
Person B: Have you considered getting evaluated for ADHD?
Person A: No, I don’t want to depend on drugs.
The same can kind of be said about energy drinks (but maybe not).
Person A: You took this photograph?
Person B: Yes.
Person C: Autofocus was on.
Person A: Ah, so the camera took it.